Felicia's Blog

Life for me is....

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Life's not Life

I don't know why all of a sudden I feel really crazy like I want to suicide, cut my own neck would be the most precise words to use to explain what I want to do now.
It's killing me, the feeling of being left behind by the shadow of the ones I used to believe and the ones I used to rely on. It's not about romanticizing the story but my true feeling flows in it. It really is something which I couldn't understand.

One of my friends gave a question for me, he said, "Why do you sometimes feel like "dark" or gloomy?" and I just laughed when I heard that question, I couldn't remember the answer I gave him that time but I still remember the true answer, it's "I don't even know that. I can't even imagine how I could have that kind of dark feelings inside me..." Am I crazy?

The emptiness is growling inside my heart, trying to break my heart apart and eats me like I'm a piece of cake. I feel bored... What is happening in my life now? I don't really understand, I feel empty, lonely, stressful, and most of all, I'm tired of myself.

I know this is a boring story about myself. It's just, I feel like I want to share it. This is today's feelings of mine... It's not fun to read I know, but at least I have a place to spoil away my sadness...

I love life...Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like...It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness. (Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Raisins, 2003)

This quotation is really helpful for me in today's mood. Really... ^_^

1 comments:

hmm.... anything in this life is the signs that we still alive... sad, angry, bored, happy, smile, proud, joy, tired, and anything else... that's made me glad about life... so colorful

^^
 

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